“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?” C.S. Lewis
I’ve been meditating on a few concepts lately. One being that God’s ways are so much higher than mine… who am I to even question Him? Romans 11:33 says “Oh, the depths of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable are his ways!”
Often I wonder why I need to walk through certain things. Why I need to give up so much. Why God doesn’t make things easier. Why He doesn’t answer me in things I’ve prayed many hours, even years, for. Many times I bring these questions to Him and He so graciously receives them and reminds me of His character. He answers not by laying out His plans and explaining Himself to me, but instead by showing me His heart.
Suddenly I see the depths of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God. I see it as I see a deep crevice in the earth, so deep that I can’t see the bottom or the walls but I have a glimpse of the vastness of it. I see that someone that vast, that deep, can’t be fully searched out, and surely can’t be scrutinized. He can only be taken into our limited capacity and trusted for His unlimitedness.
One of my favorite quotes is from Melissa Helser. She says, “When you know God’s nature you won’t question His motives.” The more I see Him as He really is, the more my questions seem irrelevant. How can I wonder at what I’m missing or lacking when my God is who He is, worth so much more then all of my disappointments!
The other thing I’ve been digging into is thanksgiving. Once you’ve seen your questions in light of His character, suddenly worry and panic become inconceivable and only worship is the fitting response. It becomes a cycle of questions bombarding us from our situations and from the enemy, the Lord revealing Himself to us for who He is, to us responding to His presence with thankfulness until we are strengthened with the joy of the Lord. That’s what Paul is talking about when he says that even in our trials we have joyful confidence, because the pressure produces patient endurance in us, which refines our character and leads us to hope (Romans 5:3-5, TPT).
In our trials, in our pressures, in our questions we have a choice to either run to our Father and partner with what He’s trying to produce in us, or we can get stuck in our doubts and fears and partner with the enemy’s lies. Kris Vallotton says, “Complaining is to the devil what thanksgiving is to God.”
I’m slowly learning to choose turning toward God and responding in thanksgiving in the middle of my questions and frustrations. The genuine kind of giving thanks, because I trust who He is and because I know He’s doing something good even if I don’t understand it. I want to lean into Him in the struggle, like Bill Johnson says, “The strength of my life is my affection for Him.”